I’ve been thinking a lot lately…about everything. Over analyzing? Maybe. I’ve always been this person who gets into so much detail in my brain that I am completely overwhelmed and end up rocking and moaning in a corner.
I sometimes miss out on the simplicity of the everyday amazing world I live in and the people that surround me because my thoughts get so overwhelming. I’ve gotten better, but I lapse from time to time.
Some events of late have sparked my thoughts in a different direction. My very good friends Mum passing. My dad being 82 with the onset of Alzheimer’s. My oldest step-daughter turning 30, the realization I will be 44 in about a month.
Life. This is what it is. It’s ups, downs and how we handle ourselves in these moments is what makes us who we are.
So why do I feel I’m not handling these things very well? Yet another thought train starts barreling down the tracks.
I’m writing this as I’m flying home from the funeral. I’m hungover, tired, and sad. My stomach also hurts from laughing so damn hard at the service and after when we got back to Mark and Jenny’s…we all put on our PJs and started telling stories and just LAUGHING. I want to break out into spontaneous laughter right at this very second – why the fuck not? I think about that and tears spring to my eyes…I have no idea why. For Jenny, her family, my dad…the list goes on and on.
Side note: OMG. Where are peoples manners on a plane? A dude just walked by and let one go and of course his ass is where my face is. Can you not say “sorry” or point your bum in a different direction?! Unreal. Anyway…
As I’m about to turn 44, I know I’m not old. But I ain’t getting any younger. And I feel I’m at this halfway point – in another 44 years, I’ll be 88. Holy balls. 44 years isn’t that far away…and why the hell do I start thinking like that?!
Then I start thinking, sweet mother, I have 40+ years of adventure, blazing new paths, meeting new people, giving the world all of the love I can, and single-handedly bringing back the hair band genre…what could be more exciting?!
As I’ve heard many folks say, and I agree with…”the first 40 years were a gift. the second 40 we have to work for.” Look out, people. I’m working.